One of the most profound things that I think the Chaplain said to us over the course of our marriage enrichment retreat back in November was this:
"If you are serving your country on active duty,
it is only because your spouse is letting you."
Ever since I married Gene I have identified as a Navy wife. I'm not walking around in his PT gear or Navy Wife gear from my head to my toes. I don't walk around saying "Hi, I'm Elizabeth, Navy wife." I am the wife to a man who serves his country though, and I always stood proud as a military spouse.
Every deployment that he served our country: by leading his team in Afghanistan or being the administrating medical officer on the Vinson, I felt the sense of pride that I was serving my country by spending my nights alone, sending care packages and letters, and manning the homefront until he could return to it.
It was so amazing to hear a Chaplain- someone who has served his country for 23 years as a line officer and then Chaplain -express that yes, we wives serve as well by letting our husbands serve.
I have stopped identifying as a "military spouse" recently, mainly due to the drama that comes along with it, the pretentiousness of it all, the one-upping of each other, and the general feeling of entitlement among military spouses. Maybe we feel that way because our life is "hard" for us. I don't think so though. I think most of us feel that way because we generally think the world owes us something. We bash each other, we create hostile environments among one another, and we compete in the proverbial pissing contest of who has a harder life, who has a tougher husband, and who is the best at it. Don't get me started on "wife of the year" crap.

Maybe it's simply because Gene doesn't have another deployment coming for the foreseeable future. That we get to live a "normal" life of the husband who gets up, goes to work, and comes home for suppertime. He gets to spend every night at home and I don't have to wait for our first kiss all over again. I'm getting away from myself with a rant though, and Lord knows I don't want to be
that military wife. You know: the jaded one who comes home to a million e-mails about how wrong I am, or
GOD FORBID end up back on the greatest spousal bashing site in the world: Overly Sensitive Military Spouses.
Since the Reagan Administration, we get to have a special day, all to ourselves, where we get to puff our chests out even more than we normally do, and claim a day as our own: Military Spouse Appreciation Day. I don't know about you, but this is a life I live year long, day in and out, and my husband recognizes me for it every night when he comes home an hour later than he should because there was some young kid doing something he shouldn't have and most of the leadership had to stay behind and fix it.
We
do serve as well. Let's just not let it go to our heads too much. Let's not call ourselves "superheros" (yeah, have you seen that one going around?) because we married a man who wears a uniform to work. So do mailmen, so do firefighters, so do janitors.
I love my life. I may hate parts of it like the separations, long working days, and the ever increasing "me" generation marrying my husband's colleagues, but I love the sacrifices I have made and wouldn't have it any other way.
So go get your nails did, because it's apparently your day/week/month now?
(and sorry for the "
jaded, not what everyone else is going to post today" post. I know you'll let me get that off my chest, agree or disagree, and still be my friend... I hope?)