A Funny Thing Happened At The Grocery Store

I have been told that I'm a funny person. I find myself in situations where you just couldn't make the stuff up, and have a way of delivering the story that makes for an entertaining evening. Last night was one of those times where I found myself in an awkward situation... at the commissary.

I had strained my knee pretty bad yesterday on the track and iced it before heading out for some groceries and to get Gene from work. It was my right knee, and that made driving painful! I sat, waited for Gene, and had him drive me across base for our grocery adventure. I just needed a few things for dinner through the weekend.

When we first walked in I saw those glorious coupons dangling from the shelf in front of the Larabars! You could save $1 when you bought 4 (regularly priced $0.79). SCORE! I'm not going to lie, I was going to take all of the coupons and really do some damage until they expired... which was today! There were 8 coupons left, so I filled our cart with 32 bars and we continued shopping. I got some spaghetti squash, yellow squash, zucchini, and green peppers. We got some salad mixes, some shredded cheese and some sliced. We got roast beef, salsa, and orange juice. We picked up some of those flea bomb things and some Glade expressions (which I would get for free as a BzzAgent!). Our shopping was done and we headed to self check out.

I figured I had less than "40" items, and could easily ring myself up. Gene was going to ring up all the Larabars, so we evened out. That's where things went wrong.

I scanned in the OJ, the salsa, the salad, cheeses, and roast beef. I picked up the zucchini to weigh it and guess what? Zucchini wasn't an option on the screen. In fact, the produce selections ended at "T" so I was STUMPED. I asked the cashier overseeing the self-checkouts and she told me to look for "Italian Squash" so I went to the "I" tab. Nothing. There is was under the "S" tab: "Squash, Italian" and I clicked it, placed the zucchini in the bag and got beeped at. Apparently the weight didn't register. The cashier who initially helped me was long gone and another gal came to my rescue.

We figured it out and I was able to ring up my other produce, easy peasy. I scanned and bagged the flea bombs and Glade items. I was left with a cart full of 32 Larabars which initially I was going to have Gene scan and get, but I was low enough under my budget to make it one transaction.

I grabbed a handful and scanned them one by one. "seventy-nine cents. Please place item in the bagging area. Seventy-nine cents. Please place, seventy-nine cents. Please place, seventy-nine cents..." and so went the ringing up for 14 bars, when suddenly the machine didn't recognize the weight of the bar being placed into the bag. I had already scanned the next one though, so the poor cashier had to count all 14 bars on the computer and the bag. We started again. I successfully scanned and it was time for my coupons!

My dollar off coupons rang up like a charm! The coupons I had for my Glade items needed to be entered by a cashier, since it was for a free item.

The whole time my sweet husband stood there, not saying a word, but his face spoke volumes! I imagine he was thinking "Yes, folks, my wife is too cheap to tip the bagger after they do a horrible job, and she would rather cause this cluster-you-know-what then have to rebag groceries at the trunk." I apologized profusely to the cashier assisting me now for the third time, loud enough so hopefully those waiting in line to use the self check-out on their half gallon of milk and loaf of bread would hear and know it was extended to them as well.

Perhaps the lesson learned was supposed to be not to use self checkout if I'm going to be so inept at it, but the lesson I gathered from the experience was not to take my husband with me, for I felt the embarrassment in his gaze as he looked upon the scene. Poor fella, at least he has a good supply of Larabars!